Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Nothing's what it seems, but you move on

Posted by Katina at 12:24 PM

To put it bluntly I got a small kick in the guts this morning. How interesting that the impression you get from someone or something at the time really does amount to nothing in the end...



Internship went well. Sent an email to them last week; still in contact, but what does it matter? Someone who went to the other SA newsroom was notified of an unadvertised internship for where I went, applied and got the gig.



I'm surprised that I'm not too bitter about it. Thought I'd feel more personally affected. But it's made me realise that we really are in it to win it. It is a competition. And although I've done my fair share to stay strong in the ranks, I feel a bit lost in the big pool. Am I just a small fish in the big pond? Do I not have enough 'bitch'?

It's just one of many things I've been given to think about this past week. So much crap I have to filter through...

2 Comments:

  1. steph. said...
    4:53 PM  
    oh dear! looks like you're having some of the same realisations that i had! STAY STRONG KATINA! haha.

    first, like i keep telling you, you are in the ideal position with what you've already done. i'd look at your cv and hire you on the spot. but of course, that's me :)

    second, IF i were to follow journalism, i would treat any knock backs and nastiness etc with a 'well, i'm glad i didn't get sucked into THAT environment - dodged a bullet there!' attitude. seriously. if its going to be so petty and competitive and what not, you're way better than that; let it go.

    third, don't fall into the mindest that you need to be 'bitchy'. sure, stacks of your competitors ARE and will more than likely get places by being so... but again, you're way better than that and the RIGHT job will fall your way if you stay true to yourself. confidence? you got it. persistence? you'll be fine. a tiny touch of arrogance and self importance? i'm sure you can turn it on in a tactful way, if need be.

    dude, if i was doing the hiring and firing you'd be first on board.

    i'm so glad that you can SEE what it's really like though... i've been really worried about you and mel and lauren, i'd hate for you to just get sucked into it all!
    Katina said...
    9:51 PM  
    you always know how to make me feel better!

    i especially love the last bit though: "i've been really worried about you all"... i know that anything i'm offered i'm most probably meant to take and what doesn't happen is for just as good a reason. so i'm totally on the ball. i think. thanks xo

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