When the Cheshire emerges...

10.34pm: So there were a few surprises... but it's sinking in, there is a Eurovision final coming!

And so begins my media blackout, I will try to write tomorrow but there will be no live blog - I'll be too busy enjoying myself at a Eurovision party. Good night!

10.33pm: And of course Conchita was the last announcement. But they're our finalists! So from my picks Israel and Macedonia miss out.

10.32pm: Belarus are in - CHEESECAKE! And the kids from Finland. Yes, they're high schoolers. My bad.

10.31pm: Greece had some bromance there... Malta DOES seem like so long ago but they're in.

10.30pm: Oh wow, Slovenia. Oh no, and Poland too... But Romania and Norway are good.

10.28pm: About time... Switzerland the first to go through.

10.20pm: What just happened there with Macedonia? Should I be confused?

And the host is wearing pants. Since when does a female host not wear a gown?

10.18pm: And we've just seen an octogenarian take centre stage and tear it apart. Great work.

10.16pm: Bring back the hot Norwegian guys...

10.14pm: Oh, I was going to do this video thing, but I ran out of time. Go the girl from Ireland. Aw.

Meanwhile, I just wish Nikolaj could somehow be kept on the screen. He's a little amazing.

10.10pm: My pick of who might go through: Malta, Israel, Norway, Austria, Finland, Belarus, Macedonia, Switzerland, Greece, Romania.

10.02pm: Jessica Mauboy. Strutting her stuff to 180 million. Sounded a bit nervous at first, and it's a hard song to belt out. But she did great. Go girl. Darwin represent.

9.59pm: Bahaha, we knocked the UK out of that graphic of Europe. And we have Swans players and koalas. Excellent.

9.56pm: Alright, Romania are bringing it. THERE'S A CIRCULAR KEYBOARD. But really, Paula Seling and OVI are giving us a great end. Good song!

9.53pm: Slovenia's Round and Round is OK, but again not huge. Tinkara Kovac's shoulder pads are, mean dress.

9.50pm: WOW. Greece brought that - and I'm not biased, we needed something big. Totally sold with Freaky Fortune and RiskyKidd.

9.49pm: YEEEEESSSSS! Rise Up!



9.46pm: Who came up with revealing these records? And how is the most amount of licks even managed to be known? Fuck me, I love Eurovision.

And now I finally get to see Greece. Represent!

9.44pm: Down Under on the flute from Slovenia's entrant. Love.

9.39pm: Need to make violins a key point of note for future contests. As relevant as silver, white and key changes...

9.38pm: Folk again from Switzerland with Sebalter's Hunter Of Stars. But more good-looking males never hurts.

I'm waiting for that standout Eurotrash number though. And Greece's song is finally next.

9.35pm: To The Sky would probably be one to grow on you. But it's not a song that really prompts some boob-shaking, sorry Tijana. FYROM is hit and miss but this is one of their better songs...

9.30pm: OK, so the song's not really about cheesecake. But the beat is good.

9.29pm: Belarus! (Some) hot men in suits dancing. Singing about Cheesecake. Teo, I'm sold.




9.26pm: Ireland always manage to put something about their culture, even when it's a DJing turkey... Celtic motifs are cool, but the song is average. Can-Linn and Kasey Smith don't make my Heartbeat.

9.23pm: OMG. There's a song called Cheesecake. Loving the culinary theme this year.

9.17pm: The only rock band for this year comes from Finland... Something Better by Softengine wasn't too bad a song. But I was slightly distracted.

9.15pm: And finally a good-looking young male. In a shiny suit jacket no less. Swoon.

9.13pm: Glitter. Futuristic ballerinas. Light rapping... and a wink to the camera. Lithuania had it all, Vilija commanding Attention. Could have going a bit harder on the vocal though I reckon.

9.10pm: Well that got our ATTENTION!!!

9.09pm: "If this is your first time watching Eurovision, welcome." Couldn't have said it better Sam Pang.

9.08pm: Conchita Wurst. This year's Romania for sheer spectacle? Well, Rise Like A Phoenix has lyrics that are rather fitting for her. She looks great, the song's pretty good and the crowd love it.

9.02pm: It's time. Waiting for the revolution that is Conchita Wurst...



8.58pm: So that was Donatan & Cleo's My Słowianie - We Are Slavic... well, Poland singing about a different culture was one part of it.

8.55pm: Aaaaand we get folk outfits. Fabulous. Ooh, but trying to sex things up a bit. And looking tacky as hell for it. Excellent.

8.53pm: Three Minutes To Earth? Georgia, what is this? The Shin and Mariko are not floating anyone's boat. Or skydiving anyone back to safety...

8.52pm: There is a man playing drums with a parachute. Must have a big balance problem. Oh no, he managed a big jump.

8.50pm: Carl Espen's Silent Storm from Norway - really nice ballad, was wondering if there's a really big key change coming... but it was gradual. Like it.

8.46pm: Song two is Israel's Mei Finegold with Same Heart. Her voice is very... deep. Though I'm not sure if it suits the song, which is actually OK.




8.41pm: Firelight's Coming Home from Malta opens. This is a very Mumford and Sons song, but with traditional instruments. And a female element. It's a good opener.

8.38pm: Oh man, Greece is 13th... bit of a wait. Meanwhile, Pilou and Lisa looked a bit touchy feely. No, she's just hands-on...

8.35pm: A dance act to start us off paying homage to the former shipyard the hall once was and famous Danish compositions. But we're ready now.

8.33pm: I'm doing a live blog again (in Central Standard Time) so if you have something to say during the night say it. I will be voicing my own opinions of course, so there's room for more

The Jessica Mauboy doco was lovely. Looking forward to seeing the performance in full. But first let's hear the rest of this year's contenders!

10.35pm: That's a wrap! Will do my best to make updates for semi-final 2 and Jessica Mauboy's performance tomorrow night.

10.32pm: YES! The Netherlands! Excellent. And Iceland! This is really excellent. Just Latvia and their cake that missed out from my guesses - oh and Portugal. Hm, I think Europe's picked well.

10.32pm: Ukraine's in. And Sweden. Two more.

10.31pm: Armenia was good... knew Azerbaijan, but that means one I like is gone. OH and San Marino gets through! That's pretty awesome.

10.29pm: Montenegro, Hungary and Russia. Three from three... ooh but they're booed...

10.26pm: Alright, previews for the Big Five and previous winner look good, already looking forward to the final. But a whole other semi to go!

And Jon Ola Sand, love to see he's still featured in the broadcast as he looks over the running of the night.

10.23pm: So it's just clear that Eurovision loves Jedward. Australia loves Jedward. They are fair amazing.

10.19pm: So Armenia, Latvia, Sweden, Iceland, Russia, Ukraine, Portugal, The Netherlands, Montenegro and Hungary are my picks for entry into the final. Although Azerbaijan will likely be in there, and likely one or two others instead.

10.10pm: And he pulled out the silver BIG TIME! Ha, and he's still ugly Julia? How mean.

10.08pm: The Ugly Duckling is this semi-final's interval act. How could Denmark not feature something of Hans Christian Andersen? But they've tried to make it modern to say a young guy can't breakdance.


10.05pm: Ooh, good voice to end the semi-final on. For almost all of it, he faltered at the end. But András Kállay-Saunders brought some DNB to Eurovision. Awesome. That was great. And it's over already.


10.02pm: DNB!!!

10pm: Sergej Ćetković is not singing in English. And Moj Svijet sounds like a nice song. I like that I don't understand this.

9.56pm: Calm After The Storm from The Netherlands... sung after a trip to Nashville for The Common Linnets. This is beautiful and not Eurovision-y at all. I am calling this as my favourite so far.



9.52pm: I. Called. It. Lace and sheer, lace and sheer. I like that we're finally hearing a song in the native language. Quero Ser Tua  is alright Suzy.

9.48pm: Ha. I've always focused on the white... but they're right. Silver is also a winner.

And I'd have both the judges too Julia, but if they're fighting over Portugal we have no chance.

9.40pm: There are only four more songs? This is going to be harder to pick than I thought...

9.38pm: Third time lucky? Valentina Monetta is ironically trying with a song called Maybe. She is clearly San Marino's only export if she's been selected three years running.

9.35pm: Wild Soul by Cristina Scarlat. Moldova! Finally, something that feels a bit more epic. Mad medieval costume... but struggling to love the vocals.

9.32pm: Nice Paul Potts reference from Julia. Oh, Axel Hirsoux from Belgium has a back-up dancer in the shadows. His mother I take it. OK, bad pun for a song called Mother. Too bad they've already had their Mother's Day and that Australia can't vote.

9.28pm: Ukraine's Mariya Yaremchuk - she is just beautiful! And love the man in the hamster wheel...




9.19pm: Again with the lace... Azerbaijan's ballad Start A Fire sounded beautiful. Wasn't sure if I was meant to understand all the lyrics. But Dilara Kazimova looked enthused.

9.13pm: Russia's Tolmachevy Sisters with Shine.

I thought they were going to go around with their hair intertwined the whole time. Fail. This is an ABBA-esque song and look, which I guess is acceptable given the 40th anniversary of their win this year.

9.10pm: Albania. This year's Shakira. Second lace and sheer dress, could be this year's key trend.

9.05pm: Jedward! I witnessed the act with Eurovision's highest hair in person. Feeling blessed.

9.03pm: "Just stand still and focus on the singing." Sanna Nielsen is beautiful AND clued in. Eurovision, you've changed.

8.56pm: Pollaponk's No Prejudice: Iceland are always entertaining. These guys are suited-up Wiggles with a bit of edge. And some mean beards. Great mix of kitsch and actual singing talent.

8.53pm: Sanna Nielsen from Sweden with Undo, finally on stage after seven attempts to represent her country. She's a stunner. With a really nice voice. Understandably one of the favourites. Do agree with Julia Zemiro that it's Celine Dion-esque. But it's a strong contender so far.





8.47pm: Amazing! The white has ARRIVED! Where's my wine... ah shit. Not tonight. But Tanja from Estonia has my favourite Euro sound with a heavy dance-pop element.

8.45pm: Ask your mother how to bake a cake? Nah, I can make a cake pretty well from scratch, but thanks Aarzemnieki from Latvia. Cake To Bake was sung with a folk sound/look to it.

Mix some dough and add some love. The best lyrics ever?!

8.41pm: You're Not Alone - Armenia's Aram mp3... there we go! The favourite rocking it in a half-military, half-Matrix ensemble. Confusing, but it's alright.

And the stage is epic this year.

8.38pm: Three hosts again. I really think we'll have 10 in another five years... And WOW. Pilou's hair (on left). SO hipster.



8.36pm: Emmelie De Forest is without shoes again. But still looks amazing - and I thought that before Sam Pang. The webcam shots are back.

8.35pm: #JoinUs is a great theme, but the webcam shots seemed a bit... well, I'm not sure really.

8.33pm: Julia's already a bit tiddly getting her facts wrong about Danes voting for Emmelie.

8.28pm: We're getting ready to go, Eurovision 2014 is finally here! I am yet to hear any of the songs so am very curious for what Copenhagen has to show.

I'll be attempting my first live blog tonight, taking you through any quips I have on each song as they come on. Feel free to comment on the blog and make your views known too.
**Please note this is in Central Standard Time**

So I totally reminisced ahead of tonight...

And I thought I'd be Lena from 2010 tonight. I'm still supporting Greece all the way though.


Let's get this show on the road!

Quick wrap of my immediate thoughts, let me know what you thought!

1. Latvia: Here we go! Made for a great start. Glitter suits with no shirts a bit intense for their tightness and brightness. Crowdsurfing and all. In the end, a really fun song.

2. San Marino: A shaky start from Valentina, who had that horrible social network song last year - this was a ballad, then tried to get epic. But still only OK.

3. FYR of Macedonia: What a random song. Mixing near dubstep, crazy old woman like the babushkas and a hot young guy. Pretty likeable in the Eurovisionverse.

4. Azerbaijan: Grey velvet suit, Joey Tribbiani look-alike. An alter-ego in a box and woman in mullet dress. Song was pretty good though, and dancing "supports the song as opposed to confusing you". Nice one, Julia.

5. Finland: WOAH. 80s Madonna mullet dress, questionable lyrics and a girl-on-girl kiss to end it. Intense.

6. Malta: Really cute song, a bit folky and poppy. The guy liked interacting with the crowd and I liked his outfit and happy face.

7. Bulgaria: Wow, mixing dance and traditional sounds with immobile backup singers in national costume. REALLY liked it, it was more Eurovision than a LOT of what's been seen so far.

8. Iceland: Blonde rocker in a suit doing some hand actions to a power ballad. Sounded nice, but I wouldn't pick it.



9. Greece: Wow! HUGE! Ska outfit with an oldie and a mini bouzouki, singing about how alcohol is free. In my head, that's a wonderful thought. They truly brought it.

10. Israel: Looks like she's out of a soapie with the soft lighting, sideswept hair and 80s glasses. Very strong ballad.

11. Armenia: LOVED the guy's outfit, very casual. The song was OK too, soft rock ballad. Was hoping for a wind machine but they gave fire instead.

12. Hungary: Hottie alert, singer AND guitarist. Hipsters rule for 2013. Song was a bit weak though, disappointing.

13. Norway: Someone in white! Woo! Gorgeous studded maxi dress, and a killer song. Scandipop fever hit Eurovision with this one, a Bjork/Robyn-friendly number. Excellent.

14. Albania: Threatened to be another Bulgaria. But a rocker edge. Suit wiht no shirt again. Brought it - but not metal enough, we haven't had that!

15. Georgia: Disney fairytale-style duet. Written by the guy who did 'Euphoria'. Wasn't a fan by the end which was disappointing. Gorgeous stage presence, but no Aladdin and Jasmine.

16. Switzerland: Well done to the 95-year-old cellist for staying awake. He looked scared when the singer was in his face though. That was more interesting than the song.

17: Romania: WOAH.

My life will never be the same after this song. Ever. #SBSEurovision #Romania
— Katina V (@Katiinkaa) May 18, 2013

Nuff said.

***

Of those getting through: pretty happy with the results. Thankfully I knew Greece were getting through, otherwise I'd have almost have had a cardiac arrest by the end of it.

Will likely not blog tomorrow, but look on my Twitter account for updates and follow me on Storify. Check out my tweets from tonight on Storify before then!

My brief thoughts on each song from the first semi-final of Eurovision 2013. Overall, a bit of a dud to be honest. A bit disappointed.

1. Austria: White. Shiny pants. Sounds pretty good. Bit of a meh 'inspirational' song though.

2. Estonia: B&aW camera work. Pretty, singing lovely. Gorgeous white babydoll dress, just hangs (pregnant). White again. Or cream? Love it. Dreamy with the fog, romantic.

3. Slovenia: Ooh, great start. But her voice isn't great. Like the dance beat and the bird inspiration with the top though. Black leather.

4. Croatia: Opera group of men. Harmonious enough, nice voices. One good looking. But not grabbing me. Yes Sam, boy bands ARE getting older.

Photo: oikotimes.com

5. Denmark: Brought it with the 'rain' at the end. Defs channeling Loreen with the frizzy hair and bare feet. An upbeat song, not surprised it's the fave.

6. Russia: A Swedish-written song. Really nice. Flowing maxi again, this time a dusty pink with cream lace sleeves.

7. Ukraine: One of top three favourites. Fairytale theme... hm. Maxi dress, but tight wiht fishtail. Tall man on stage, 8foot. Good voice, but not that impressed by the song.

8. The Netherlands: Former Dutch Alanis Morrisette. Sounded alright but didn't really go anywhere.

Photo: Calgary Herald

9. Montenegro: FINALLY. Bit of dubstep with strobe lights and futuristic astronauts. Brought it.

10. Lithuania: Hottest guy so far. Leather jacket, scruffy hair. Like. The song? A bit 80s actually. OK.

11. Belarus: Small, hot Eastern bloc chick in a tiny shimmy dress. Europop... but not that great.

12. Moldova: Epic gown with mega pleated shoulder, great swept up do. Epic. Don't mind this. Like the effects that make her dress change.

13. Ireland: Leather jacket again. But his hair is much more groomed. So pretty. Irish dance... hello.

Euroclub beats, tribal drums and hardcore leather... wow. Commendation for the bold attempt to mash all #SBSEurovision loves.
— Katina V (@Katiinkaa) May 17, 2013

14. Cyprus: In Greek. Another maxi, with lace. She's gorgeous. And this is a REALLY good entry from them. Lovely.

15. Belgium: Liked it, although his face was uber expressive with bushy eyebrows. Lyrics, crazy dancers, a smatter of dubstep.

16. Serbia: Kawaii! Japan comes to Eurovision. A bit of fun but again, not too great.

And that was it. Went way too quickly!

***

MONTENEGRO miss out. ROBBED.

CYPRUS miss out. Unfortunate.

Not terribly impressed here.

To see my (and other) tweets from the night, check out my Storify timeline:

Until tomorrow lovelies.

I decided I was going to host a party for anyone who wanted to come around tonight, tomorrow and Sunday as Eurovision weekend FINALLY kicks off in Australia.

This was only on Wednesday.

With two days to think about how I could make it more than just sitting in front of a TV with some nibbles for food (although I've got plenty of that and plan to actually cook for the final), I consulted the SBS website on how to make it a party.

But looking at what to wear, I didn't have time to source crazy glitter outfits. Any stuff I have possibly relevant is back in Adelaide!

So I decided to look to some of the recent successes and found their fashion choices to be rather minimalist.

For three nights of partying, these options are easy.

Night one: 2012

Loreen was amazing. Throwing away traditional Eurovision fare to ride to success with a minimalist performance and a great club track.

While I don't have anything like this cardigan, baggy black trousers and a flowy black dress (also keeping in trend with the mullet dress look) works fine. Let your hair down and feel the earth with your (bare) feet.

Flexible and comfy!

Just hold in that stomach reeeeeal tight.

**This costume also applies for Dima Bilan in 2006, just change to white shoes.

Night three: 2010


Lena stormed to a win with her distinctive voice and quirky lyrics - and she looked pretty great too. Then she upped the simple fashion stakes in 2011. Awesome.

Simple!

Do you think I've pulled it off? Have a favourite?

Are YOU attending a Eurovision party and dressing up?

Courtesy NBC News

Eurovision.

The most wonderful time of the year is here.

Last year I wrote the My decade of Eurovision series about my various quips and admirations of the song contest.

In 2013, my spirits rise once again in anticipation of the most exciting musical event of the year.

I have struggled to decide on whether to listen to some songs ahead of the semi-finals. But after last year's emphatic effort in raising the bar I'm worried that wouldn't do me any good. And I like it better when I'm finding out about the songs as they're performed.

One thing I'm still baffled about a year on though:

It's been three days and I STILL can't understand how @eurovision voters gave Tooji last place. I just want to give Norway a big hug...
— Katina V (@Katiinkaa) May 30, 2012

I still listen to it all the time. I don't understand Europe's thoughts sometimes...

That aside, look out for my thoughts during the semis and grand final. And always feel free to pipe in and join the conversation!

***
They used to say to scientists, "Do you believe in God?" and the scientist would respond, "No, I'm a scientist." Today, in the 21st century, if you ask a scientist, "Do you believe in God?" the scientist will say, "Of course. I'm a scientist!".

It's all OVER! Can you believe it? I'm going to feel all sad now taking everything down and having to wait another year. I've never decorated before!

I tweeted this to @SBSEurovision to say that it was Julia's first Eurovision experience so I wanted to make it one she wouldn't forget. The amount of actually great songs in the final made that job a little bit easier! And she really enjoyed herself :)

To spare you from reading (and myself from writing) recaps of most of the songs, you can look at my wrap-ups of semi-final one and semi-final two. For now, my thoughts on hearing the Big Five and host nation's hopefuls.

UK -  Love Will Set You Free by Englebert Humperdinck - The only song I'd heard in full before any Eurovision coverage. And I didn't mind it then. But since hearing the other songs, it's a shame that there was such strong competition. BUT: he hit the notes right and like Julia Zemiro, I REALLY liked it.
- Liked 49 per cent on the SBS Eurovision website after the song's completion.


France - Echo (You and I) by Anggun - This chick reminds me of Crystal, someone I used to work with. Almost a dead ringer. What I'd seen of the preview sounded better... I like her, but the chorus was the best. Great use of the wind machine. "Anggun: Queen of the Desert." - Julia.
- 39 per cent


Italy - Out of Love by Nina Zilli - Liked this much more than expected, especially for the fact it's Italy. Nice and poppy, with a bit of attitude. She looks like a trashy (or better?) Amy Winehouse.
- 77 per cent


Azerbaijan - Love Come by Sabina Babayeva  - The effects hologrammed on her dress? A bit weird. The whole thing's stuck in the 90s jst a little bit - and all the feathers... too much below the shoulders. The song's not too bad though, and she's beautiful.
- 51 per cent

Spain - Paedora zoler - Cat eye makeup did not work, sorry hun. The song was a really safe ballad. Someone tweeted she'd look like the Statue of Liberty if she had a torch... fair call.
- 42 per cent




Germany - Standing Still by Roman Lob - Goodness me, how amazingly good-looking he is, really casual but great *sigh*. However, the name Roman immediately makes me think of Days of Our Lives. Thankfully there's no actual resemblance. Oh the song? Pretty great actually. Mainstream - but not strong enough to win.
(TWEET: "If the ladies of Europe had their way we'd be back in Germany in 2013. With Lena's farm and small dogs of course)
- 71 per cent
***

Julia Zemiro and Sam Pang highlights:
- Julia with Anggun - what Julia knew in Indonesian, somehow: "I'm going to the market to buy a chicken". Excellent.
- Sam in the blue wig to go with Nina Zilli, looking like her brother apparently.
- Julia telling Ivi Adamou is a mix of Anne Hathaway and Liv Tyler and the poor girl doesn't know who they are. She WILL google it later.
- Sam to Kurt Calleja asking about his time as an airline steward. Hilarious.
- Sam still annoyed with the lack of trombonist in the Romanian song.
- Julia convinced Tooji jinxed his results for not doing an interview with SBS.
Also: costume changes... the Penelope Cruz looked pretty doll-like (re: gorgeous) in every change. Nice different dresses that show off how incredibly teeny her waist is.

White count - only four or five I think. Terrible.

And hottest guy award goes to *drum roll...* Germany! I think I knew that long before, but he had some real decent competition this year. So well done Roman, you're now held in very high esteem.
***

The interval act... Amin(?)...

TWEET: Oh for God's sake, I could've gone to the toilet this whole time...

 - Azerbaijan president's son-in-law. Of course he is. Longest wait for an entrance possibly ever. But he was okay actually. Better looking then he did sing... a Shannon Noll correlation from Julia and Sam totally made sense.

***

The voting...

So SO disappointing. For possibly the strongest overall final I've ever seen, I'm as confused as Julia with Denmark and Norway's disappointing results. Especially Norway!!! That was one of my top three on SBS Eurovision (with Greece and Sweden in a tough choice). And although the UK's used to languishing these days, I truly feel sorry for Engelbert Humperdinck. The Hump deserved better than that.

AHAHAHA Leila was trying not to laugh when Lordi tried being smart about Finland. The changing nature background, taking three minutes longer than everyone else... boooo.

We saw a clapping Mrs Doubtfire and a redux of Tony Manero's white suit among the spokespersons, and the whole thing generally ran through pretty quickly.
***
The win...



Euphoria by Loreen. Excellent club hit from Sweden.

Sam called it at about the three-quarter mark. He wasn't wrong. This was a LANDSLIDE. We knew the song was good. But this year was damn strong. I didn't even really have a standout favourite! I truly think this year deserved to have a close result more than any other contest I've seen. As much as I'm cool with the win I'm a bit disappointed with such a skewed result.
So Sweden 2013. Julia put it first: will ABBA come out of retirement for a special performance?
***

Well! That's it! I've been busy blogging Eurovision steadily over the last few weeks and it's done! If you want to have a read about my love for the song contest in the time I've watched, catch up on the rest of the My decade of Eurovision series.

My decade of Eurovision: the beginning
My decade of Eurovision: the Greek affair
My decade of Eurovision: repeat offenders
My decade of Eurovision: whitewash
A year ago today: Dusseldorf, Eurovision Song Contest
My decade of Eurovision: wailing for Wogan
My decade of Eurovision: special guests
My decade of Eurovision: 2012

Still on the Charlie Pickering thing, Sam Pang was critical of the lowness of Eldar's tie. My mother thinks Eldar's scary, but I think he's just nervous so that's why he fixes his smile. Leila's maroon dress was beautiful.

Serbia - Love Is Not A Thing by Zeljko Joksimovic - I like this guy. Love that the Serbs keep choosing native-language songs, this is a decent ballad. And I'm always more for the Eurotrash stuff.
- 61 per cent yay from #SBSEurovision viewers following the song's completion

FYR Macedonia - Crno i Belo by Kaliopi - in Macedonian,  a black pantsuit. Operatic ballad, simple stage. Until the... TWEET: "Her pantsuit was appropriate until the rock music began. There's no glitter leotard to be revealed underneath? #SBSEurovision". Hand over face and "I love you" to end to ruin ending.
- 45 per cent

The Netherlands - You and Me by Joan Franka - Surprised her feathers aren't on fire from the that surround her to go with the theme of 'light your fire' to beat any pyrotechnics display. WTF? That was horrible, country-style and really not with lyrics worth caring about.
- 25 per cent

Malta - This Is The Night by Kurt Calleja - Skinny pants with suit jacket looks great, the song's definitely catchy enough (except the female vocalist, she's a waste)... and woah, putting on the MJ - no wait, Elvis moves on. Go Malta!
- 66 per cent

Belarus - We Are The Heroes by Lightsound - Elijah Wood gone blonde, taller and metal on us. That's Belarus. The guy was alright... the song was boppy, but too much with the graphics in the background... of what, machine parts?
- 47 per cent

Interview with the lady running the wind machine... genius. The hosts giving roses - nice, but random. Lighting guy: "Is the hug for free?" Aw, bless.

Portugal - Vida Minha by Filipa Sousa - It sounds like there should be some dramatic tussle between a couple, montages thrown in. It's a movie song. And someone tweeted she was channeling  34

Ukraine - Be My Guest by Gaitana - TWEET: Miss Universe on the catwalk there with the start of Ukraine, turning into an 'I Will Survive"-esque power pop tune. Weird dress for backup dancers. Only words I can remember are 'be my guest'. But finally - WHITE.
- 66 per cent

Bulgaria - Love Unlimited by Sofi Marinova - THIS is what I'm TALKING ABOUT. Euro-dance gets me up like nothing else. Her outfit (white, yesss) looks like a superhero gone wrong but at least there weren't any dancers to clash with her on stage.
- 41 per cent

Slovenia - I Believe by Boto - Only 16 years old, looks old to Sam and me too. But more white and native-languageness... I didn't mind it at all actually.
- 41 per cent

Croatia - Neno by Nina Badric - Another ballad? They said it was the power ballad semi, and this was good in Croatian. But I need more Euro-dance...
- 62 per cent

Sweden - Euphoria by Loreen - Yes, the one everyone raved about. The song - amazing. The choreography not so much. Comfy being barefoot for sure, but the MC Hammer and Karate Kid mix was just a bit too weird for me. But she'll do well.
- Missed it because of damn Twitter running slow. But Australia's going gaga. 83 per cent afterwards.

Georgia -   - Crazy lace suit from the dancer. Hard act to follow, and it was so-so. Lots of backup dancers, not a lot of substance (well duh, but just stating the obvious).
- 37 per cent

Turkey - Love Me Back by Can Bonomo - Turkish indie apparently where the singer's voice changes from high to low and high again. Come on Sacha Baron Cohen, reveal yourself.
- 39 per cent

Estonia - Kulla by Ott Lepland - Won Estonian Idol and was in their High School Musical (dubbing?) Has nice teeth. And a really nice voice. But I'm kinda over the ballads because there were so many. He was a nice guy - cute blonde with a sweet-sounding song but not a standout.
- 61 per cent

Interviews: what a rocker Max from Slovakia is, trying to pick up Julia like a total, well... rockstar. Meanwhile, Sam's discovering a girly Lena (much better, she looks gorgeous) wants to have a Eurovision 2013 with baby animals and a farm.

Slovakia - Don't Close Your Eyes by Max Jason Mai - back to the 80s, Van Halen style. He can pick me up too if he wants. The song was a nice change for the night.
- 71 per cent



Norway - Stay by Tooji - beautiful hair, great outfit (love that look). Don't know if he hits the high note very well. But TWEET: Oh this lights my fire alright... come over to Australia and stay. Please. #SBSEurovision
- 72 per cent. A winner (w/o knowing Sweden's).

Bosnia and Herzegovina - I Know Your Steps by Maya Sar - Channeling Adele with dramatic black but hair hasn't been straightened properly. Nice, but not enough this year with all the competition.
- 36 per cent

Lithuania - Love Is Blind by Donny Montell - His eyes are the dealbreaker looks-wise... and for a while he's in a glittery blindfold so makes it difficult. An okay end to the show.
- 32 per cent

***

The aftermath:

AHAHAHA Julia Zemiro: "Penelope Cruz, Charlie Pickering and another lady". I'm still trying to figure out who she is too.

I think black's the new black this year, not nearly as much white as normal. Maybe they've realised a lot of Aussies drink off that...

LOL Julia with the Norwegian dancers was the BEST presenting I've ever seen. Why I'd love to present one day...

Hottest guy award tonight's much harder... I think Tooji of Norway's taking it out with that photo I've got up. But close was definitely Estonian guy, and even the Turk and Slovakian rocker. All had something about them. However, thinking I'll be heading to Germany if Roman sticks around.

And seeing Dima Bilan again... swoon. Line up of the last five winners was great - until they butchered Waterloo. HOW DID NIKKI NOT KNOW THE WORDS? They did rehearse that right?

***

From the top, this is my first Eurovision online - and the Twitter feeds from #SBSEurovision viewers are just hilarious. But a quick wrap-up of the songs...

***

Montenegro - Euro Negro by Rambo Amadeus - everything ending in -matic and lines like "monetary breakdance" and "change to refinance", this was RANDOM. Loved his interview comment to Julia: "I don't suppose I have any fans in Australia... maybe one. Hello."
- Rated 60 per cent on SBS Eurovision immediately after the song

Iceland - Never Forget - I usually like Iceland. Cool epic violins, but the guy's stare was just uber scary. Ended with a pyrotechnic bang.
- 62 per cent

Greece - Aphrodisiac - She's as hot as Helena Paparizou... and the song was alright! Loved the little tastes of Greek dancing there... Think she'll do well. If Sakis Rouvas offered her a job she must be good.
- Missed rating. People were more concerned with her costume...

Latvia - woman struggled with tight dress and heels a bit. OK. Thought Julia got it spot on with her "canteen mums" analysis.
- 67 per cent

Albania - Oh oh. Oh oh oh. Oh oh. Weird dreadlock bun and Gaga-inspired for a soft ballad are not good fits. Can hold a note alright though.
- Missed rating

Romania - Mandinga - One couldn't get on stage (only six at a time). Satin undies. Warbling. Lots of wind. Made Greece's dress look tame.
- 58 per cent

Swtizerland - Unbreakable by Sinplus - Nickleback but turns into a real rock sound. Like U2. Vocals like World Idol winner's back in the day. Hottest guy award goes to the lead.
- 69 per cent

Belgium- Would You by Iris - At 17, young. Not good. Wavered, nervous maybe.
- 59 per cent still though. Hm.

Finland - Nar jag blundar - Mullet dress, someone tweeted a suggestion she'd gotten confused with being Scottish. Realised Finnish language sounds really strange, hypnotic.
- 61 per cent

Israel - Time - Upbeat, got a 70s look happening. Hebrew and English. Lol at Sam's David Mathieson remark.
- Ooh, only 27 per cent.

San Marino - The Social Network Song - Pretty much, if you wanna be seen by everyone... go on YouTube. Or Eurovision to log into a glittery laptop on stage. As you do.
- 45 per cent

It was hilarious. We had a drunken male host trying to pick up the female, who changed after every song, there were 12 countries participating and we got to vote in real time! Great set of songs, full of trash and parody...

***

I'm unlike most Eurovision tragics in that I don't generally go out of my way to listen to the songs ahead of the contest. I much prefer the element of surprise, and now that we have semi-finals I get to listen to half of them ahead of the final anyway.

Having said that, I was curious of Engelbert Humperdinck's entry purely because of the seemingly strange choice to appoint him the UK's 2012 hope. And as one of the favourites, it's not a bad song. It's a ballad, which generally doesn't fare that well with me, but it's a song that I think a lot will like.

When I actually went to Eurovision, I had no idea then either. People were asking me who I liked best and were surprised I hadn't even heard Jedward's Lipstick. Haven't heard their follow-up for this year either. I WAS going to change my mind and seek out some more of the songs but I decided that could wait another year.

***

I will do my best to get reviews of the three nights up during the week - I am SO excited btw, it's EUROVISION WEEK, but before then take a look at some of the good, bad and the ugly. This... is Eurovision.

This is the seventh post in a series about the Eurovision Song Contest. If you don't know what that is I strongly suggest you follow my posts. You'll learn a lot.

While there have been particular trends, some Eurovision artists try and stand out from the crowd by bringing in some star power.

The last decade has seen some significant appearances. Actually, looking at my examples it's been the last four years. They've arguably stolen the show to take the interest from the song itself... not that anyone's complaining.

Burlesque star Dita Von Teese was a special guest for Germany's Oscar Loya during his 2009 performance. The fact she was able to still put on a show beside those pants speaks volumes.




Serial pest Jimmy Jump made an appearance in 2010 when he decided to become part of the choreography for countryman Daniel Diges. The Spaniard singer got a second shot at the conclusion of the other songs.

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*I have two photos entered in the current Qatar Reflections competition. Please show your support for me by voting for either photo! Short backstory and links here.

This is the sixth post in a series about the Eurovision Song Contest. If you don't know what that is I strongly suggest you follow my posts. You'll learn a lot.

Hosts and commentators form an integral part of Eurovision, shaping our perceptions of the night past the songs. Well, they do their best to put their two cents in and get away with a LOT.

The female hosts are notorious for changing dresses multiple times throughout the show. If your stylist thinks you can pull off a few designs to dazzle the audience then why not?

When I went last year, the two ladies hosting (yes, the guy was that cool he had to have a lady on each arm) did their stylists proud.

Stefan Raab sang Satellite with defending champion Lena

But while that's something to look forward to, I want to talk about a stalwart of the contest that really captured the outsider's thoughts on the contest for years.

Anyone who knows Eurovision in the UK, Australia and perhaps elsewhere beyond Europe will know who I'm on about.



BBC's Terry Wogan.

The guy was involved for the better part of 37 years, first with BBC Radio and then moving into the television slot. He had the wittiest commentary, probably on everything ever. Playing on the fact that many UK residents never took the contest too seriously, Wogan pretty much paid the shite out of whoever was really horrible.

Many said at his leaving in 2008 that a lot of Brits watched the contest only because of him. It's interesting how this is still one of the ways that Britain tries to distance itself from Europe (you know, besides other small things like currency and European politics). And yet he primarily left because he felt it wasn't being taken seriously by the committee anymore and submitting shite acts wasn't putting the joke on Europe, but turning back on itself. Bit of a double-edged sword, isn't it?

***

Since his departure in 2008, SBS has provided local commentary with Des Mangan (who had replaced Wogan about five years earlier much to Australia's dismay - he's fine, but not when Wogan was still on his game), and now the comedian duo of Julia Zemiro and Sam Pang. They're okay too, but I wish Wogan would give us an encore performance now that the UK act isn't chosen by a public vote.

I'd love to know what he makes of Engelbert Humperdinck's entry for 2012.

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*I have two photos entered in the current Qatar Reflections competition. Please show your support for me by voting for either photo! Short backstory and links here.