Saturday, April 14, 2012
Battleship (M)
The people over at Hasbro HQ will be sitting in their chairs
gloating over their latest money-spinner. As they evolve their interest in Hollywood
from making films out of games-turned-TV-shows up to just making films straight
from games, it seems to be working. But the buck stops there, with the premise
of their latest enterprise throwing too much in to fill such a vastly empty (plot)
hole.
The Transformers films
have enjoyed success because of the toys’ original longevity, which brought
along a TV show that developed the characters so they were loved or hated. With
boats it’s a bit harder to achieve that unless you inject characters into the mix,
but while the characters in this film are given time to develop there’s no
sense of connection. For either side, being that the bad guys are aliens.
Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) is a no-hoper who meets his girl Samantha (Brooklyn Decker) drunk on his birthday. After breaking into a mini-mart to get her an unattainable chicken burrito, big brother Stone (Alexander Skarsgård) decides a life change in the Navy is what he needs. After working his way up the ranks, during an exercise undertaking with Japanese navy crew at sea both brothers find themselves up against alien battleships from Planet G fighting to invade Earth.
The film kicks into gear once the elements of the game come into play, and the focus on tactics is not lost on us as a slight wave of nostalgia hits those who were Battleship players. The action comes in thick but not fast, although with plenty of decent explosions to satisfy the target (male) audience. Otherwise the film has little to like.
Hopper fights a war with himself as he battles the enemy and shows weak character, proving quickly as someone you don’t want to sympathise with. In short, the guy is an idiot, and while Kitsch goes by what he’s given it’s a bad handling of the lead guy as an underdog from director Peter Berg (Hancock).
The subplot on shore involving Samantha ties in nicely enough but still has a weak execution. Decker (aka Mrs Andy Roddick) isn’t a major focus and also not overplayed, unlike singer Rihanna as fellow Navy officer Raikes in her debut acting role.
The film’s ultimate weakness is its screenplay; Erich and Jon Hoeber’s creation is terrible. While writing the well-received Red, they use this film to stab at US-Japan relations with racist innuendos and then attempt to laugh at themselves. Confusion about whether it wants to be comic leaves the whole 131 minutes as one big contradiction.
The premise of making deep-space communication had potential, but the whole outing proves pointless. The music used is painfully typical, and even the addition of Liam Neeson as Admiral Shane sadly doesn’t bring anything extra to the challenge of making the film viable.
Hasbro should stick to putting toys on shelves. There are better films for getting nostalgic about sinking ships.
Rating: 2/5
*Published in the Daily Liberal (Dubbo), Western Advocate (Bathurst), Parkes Champion Post and Midstate Observer (Orange) from Saturday 14/4/2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Watching the Australian Open each year has become more and more of a challenge as I've found myself working heavier in retail, and then now becoming accustomed to full-time routine work in my professional field. However, I'm a girl and very much appreciate seeing some particular men going at it on the court so am still watching when I can. A recent preference is some of the Serbian kind, not least because of the Orthodox link (hello convenience).
Jelena Ristic is apparently the long-term girlfriend of Djokovic (since 2005). I swear I've never seen her in his box at the Open before, and truly feel I have clearly missed this the whole time. I always thought he was a free-wheelin' kinda guy (as a match to his personality), and now I discover he's been in a relationship the whole time. You think you know a guy... a tad devastated, I have really lost a little bit of the love. They're cute, but that's so boring. Just marry her already. Next.
HOW DID I MISS THIS??
Le sigh.
I can't be angry, these girls are gorgeous and close to home for the boys. Buuuuut not as impressed by this one.
Brooklyn Decker, aka Mrs Roddick. Now, I DID know about her. And she just comes across as a bit more... meh. Like she knows she's awesome because she looks hot in a bikini and gets paid for it. And that she pipped Mandy Moore at the post. Although a friend put it well when she said it's okay they're married when Andy has his new mohawk as he does. WTF IS that by the way?To the Australians... Bec Hewitt gets a mention as a yummy mummy because she's looking pretty good these days, but Bernard Tomic's other half is adorable.
Donay Meijer, like all the other, presents well in the box. But she seems casual and unassuming (not that I can really say the others aren't) and I LOVE that she's focused on her studies (and her man) when she could be modelling. Refreshing.
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