Tuesday, May 07, 2013
I wrote in my last post about the friendly side of Dubbo, and mentioned how I felt awkward after the confidence of strangers approaching me. But I want to talk about the other side now - where there's friendliness in a town there's also snobbiness.
Feeling lonely is not common for me, but when it comes around it makes me uneasy. As part of my social experiment of still trying to integrate into the Dubbo community (now 19 months in), I've become a part of the Dubbo Young Professionals Network (DYPN) which gives 'professionals' a chance to mingle. I went to my second gathering recently.
On getting there, I looked out for a familiar face and struggled.
At that moment, I had a rush of low self esteem wash over me like a tidal wave.
Doing things by myself isn't difficult - going to the movies every week, travelling, living alone - but when it comes to introducing myself to a complete stranger I freeze up. And truthfully, that hit me then and I really felt like shit.
Later on, I met a woman through a mutual friend that was great. We talked about the mental roadblock that comes with introductions as an adult and eventually decided to bite the bullet and say hi to fellow networkers.
The effect was immediate - but not positive. Of five girls in the circle, three completely ignored us and continued their own conversation. The other two were fine until someone else came up and proceeded to snigger when I explained to that person what I did for a living as they broke off into their own conversation. I'm not kidding.
My new friend (who I was so grateful to have met) and I walked out together and stood for a minute wondering what had happened. It was disappointing more than anything else. The majority of the group aren't from Dubbo, so you think everyone there would want to make friends.
With all of that though, a personal boundary was pushed. And that's a good thing. A work in progress.
***
A purpose isn't something that you're going to find. It's something that will find you. And it will find you only when you're ready and not before.
Sunday, May 06, 2012
Not me. But I was runner-up, so I got pretty close!
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| Photos: CHERYL BURKE, Daily Liberal |
At this point in my life, after having moved from home and promising myself 2012 was going to be another adventure, the chance to become Dubbo Showgirl came along and I was encouraged to enter.
But what the hell was a showgirl?
I found out very quickly that these contests are taken very seriously as winners represent their city/town's annual show and help to promote it through their 12-month involvement. It's about understanding how agriculture affects your area, but also promoting how much effort goes into creating the event that showcases the best in everything from animals to cookery to crafts.
But on top of that it's just as much about promoting yourself and getting out there to network with people, so I thought "why not?" and took a chance. I didn't think it mattered that I was a newcomer to the city - figured I could always use a bit of self-promotion for that reason, and travelling to assist with other shows on top of Dubbo's sounded like a lot of fun.
To be completely honest, there were some awesome prizes involved too. Uh, holiday anyone?
The first and third placegetters, Kennedy and Sarah, were lovely and both around my age. I've detailed before how moving can take its toll socially, and it was nice to meet a couple of like-minded girls for a nice day out.
We were interviewed separately before being treated to a nice luncheon, and given our entrant sashes which were red.
A potential faux pas was dismissed as I was encouraged to still wear my red dress for the night presentation as I had planned.
Turns out that was eventually covered by a light blue one with some added bling which is awesome. I've never had a sash before, so to get two was a pretty big deal by night's end. The presentation, a cocktail party with family, friends and sponsors, was good fun. I believe I spoke well when briefly interviewed in front of the party and was glad that Jess and her friend Lorah visiting from Sydney came out as my support. I also found support later from others who congratulated me for stepping outside of my comfort zone, another example of the friendliness of the place.
I was relieved that the process was all within one day... and I'm so happy with this result. I'm still involved in the Dubbo Show to some degree with Kennedy (placing sashes on cattle was mentioned), so I'll be sure to write up on my involvement in two weeks time. And hey, I got sashes, gorgeous flowers and good (free) food. Good times :D
PS: Still found time on returning home to watch the Crows beat Sydney. Double win.
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